We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Asterios Aid: The Sounds of Spite

by Various Artists

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $9.99 USD  or more

     

1.
Asterios: He exposed me to this giant fanbase and I will always be grateful to him and thankful to him for that. Dick: Mhm Asterios: It doesn't mean that if I see bullshit happening I can't call it out, like friendship doesn't mean just nodding your head and agreeing with everything that somebody does. Sean: That's true Asterios: I mean, I mean that's the thing. If you're really somebody's friend, you will tell them the truth. I wish he could have just been more honest with why he was ending the show. I wish he could have just said "yeah look, this guy had sex with my ex-girlfriend, he pick- he picked up my ex at a wedding right in front of me, and I don't like that that happened, and it's over", 'cause that's what I would have done. Dick: He's ashamed of it. You don't say things you're ashamed of, 'cause you know, in your heart... Asterios: That it's wrong! Dick: ...that it's wrong to feel that way, 'cause it's psychotic and obsessive and controlling, that's why. So you don't say it, so you twist your mind into pretzels. Asterios: So you've gotta find another reason why this guy's the bad guy. Dick: Yup Asterios: You gotta say that he's a rape apologist, that he stole money from me, that he's lying to you, he's gotta come up with a hashtag 'Dick lies'. Because the thing is if he had just gone out and said 'yea I don't like that this guy hooked up with my girlfriend' then it makes you look weak, and also it goes against your ethos which is 'that women should be able to do what they want'. Dick: Yeah Asterios: So the thing is ya find another reason, or in the case of that video you find 4 reasons why this guy's a bad guy as opposed to just telling the truth. And look... Dick: aight, go ahead Asterios: ...and look like 5 years from now we might be at a wedding, we might all be friends, we might all be kickin' back drinks and we, like, time heals everything. *record scratch* and then he had to disavow his own book Maddox lost song plays
2.
I remember listening to Biggest Problem, wondering what the fuck is Maddox's problem? Is he for real or is he just kidding? Is this another case of full blown autism? Listen, I'm not trying to be clever I'm just saying that whenever he opened his mouth, spaghetti came out and removed all doubt that he knew what the fuck he was on about Then there was Dick. The handsome half spic, whoops big foul dude, you know you can't say that shit. he's legit. Americas wingman. A hitman when it comes to bald Armenians I spent every other day voting on the page reading all comments, telling people to get raped, it was a rage, but in a good way they let the fans hold sway Everybody got their say And then it fell down. Get fucked. Shows over now "Chau" bitch, thanks for the yucks And the millions and millions of madbucks You dumb fucks. Good luck with your show cucks! See ya, I'm on madcast media debating all the real shit. This week paedophilia! Wait, stick don't leave just yet We've got reaction videos hosted by a crack head It's a galaxy of shows! But three shows are hardly a galaxy It's actually a travesty Reality is knocking on the door Georgie answer it, don't ignore it Seemingly coming apart at the seams All your dreams vanishing, never to be seen again Pack it in, it's the end of the line Now It's time to debate the other side Eenie meanie miney moe, catch a cuckold by the toe If he damages your reputation smack him on the nose Like a bad little doggy, be firm and let him know Who's the one with the scrilla, fans and the better show Lying and implying and fake crying leaves us dying, never tiring of the goss that's delivered to us by mexican Jesus, yep that's Dick if you don't believe us Stand back now Dick's a master, son He's gonna push it to the maximum, Don't panic have some fun Hold your reputation, 'cause it's a bumpy ride Now get inside the bunker motherfucker don't be shy Every single one of you cunts on patreon is responsible for Sean's ganja It's a lifestyle bitch. You wanna see him spend the rest of his days in a ditch? (that's it, I quit)
3.
How dare you?! How dare all of you?! I’m gonna sue you. I’m gonna sue everyone r-related to this show.” -George “Maddox" Ouzounian Fuck you bitch, Set a court date. Make a judge rule on your case: Cuckmate 20 MIllion Not a dime. 20 Million Suck a lime. 20 Million Affiliate to Amazon Prime. Muthafucka! You got nothin’ on Dick Your legal team made more typos than Sasha Grey got dicked. You’re a bald pony with one lame trick. and I’ve seen Teflon pans with better stick… than the case in New York. This thing is less kosher than a Jew eating pork. I thought you hated NYC? “Just a bunch a pizza snobs that eat pepperoni.” Totals at half a billion green?! All because of some true commentary that was mean?! Yeah, that adds up to a court superior. It’s worth a fighter jet gettin’ called inferior. Defense counsel’s official statement: “George’s suit is fake and gay and we request abatement.” Mad What? Mad What? Mad Bucks? No one has Mad Bucks! Madcast recruited that awful shithead soft J to say the N bomb and faggot on your dime everyday. An anemic nihilist to battle for you, dude? One that means it when he says he hates gays and the Jews?! Wow! Sounds like you’re in a real secure position. With all that declining traffic at Maddox dot mission Excellent article on SJW types. You satirically became one too, very nice. Your suit is full LULZ. Your suit is full of holes. Your career has no goals and your fans Dick “stole” George Oozy you seem desperate and broke. You’re the real punchline in this lawsuit joke. So sue Patreon and get a Greek comic fired That won’t backfire looking petty and tired You used to be a “satirist” that everyone admired then LA changed you and your brain rewired. Desperately try to fit in at the UCB. Not an improv class regular nobody. Make vids and a Podcast like some Hollywood Schmuck. Then your ex outed you as a real cuck. “Harassment campaign” against Orbitz? (That’s fine.) Make fun of you and your character? (Over the line!) O’Reilly’s book is a movement of a bowel. But to say Frick Whales is rehashed? (Nope, un-uh) Big Foul. Take crowns off! Take capes off! Turn mics off! I’m a writer... (Fuck off) Don’t Chapter C and cop a feel. You’ll have to disavow when shit gets too real. 20 MIL ain’t a game it’s a time waste. Get a real job in Salt Lake, post haste. Flip some burgers, write on the side. Let drama die down while you stay quiet and hide. You could have come back better than ever. But now you’re gonna die on a stupid podcast endeavor. Wave bye-bye to your career George, you killed it.
4.
5.
So sue me (what?) I don't give a fuck So sue me That you get called a cuck So sue me Complain to Uncle Sam So sue me (what?) I don't give a damn So sue me Man, you're so full of shit Just a second-placed ranked one-hit wonder with a third-rate bit So sue me Look out for Mr. Kokkinos So sue me with those vicious jokes of those So sue me of a harassment like nature So sue me They make you file court papers So sue me Guys, c'mon geez! It's against the law to say my girlfriend has STDs And if you do I'll ruin your personal and professional reputation in a court of law in the state of New York even though I'm from L.A. Shitty podcast reboot, sponsors dropped. Stale content in the third book, sales flopped. You make accusations while Dick makes money. You can't understand why no one likes you or thinks you are funny. Yeah, it must be Patreon's fault that you suck. There's no way you could be suing them to make a quick buck. Can't you take a hint dude? You're done. Not gonna win twenty million. Yous a bitch Yous a bitch Yous a bitch Madoff yous a bitch. You're doing all of this because someone went home with your ex at the time?! At a wedding?! HAHAHAHA fuck you
6.
7.
Sometimes you team up for a bathroom mission You go to the bathroom with your redheaded vixen She's there to brush her teeth, you need to take a leak Your legs are kind of weak, so you just take a seat Welcome to tinkle town. Your wiener drags around Your girl gives you a frown and looks you up and down "Men who sit to pee belong in prison Your rod is dipping in the water like you're ice fishing" On your knob now your girl won't be kissin' You say "I'll take a bath if that's the price of admission" She's done dude - out of commission You just got cucked by your bathroom decision Bathroom decisions, bathroom decisions Bathroom decisions lead to dickhead divisions Dickhead divisions, dickhead divisions Every single dickhead needs to tell you how they're pissin' Time to pee? You'd better put the seat up Aim true or you're doing pee pee clean up Number 2? TP Decisions Wipe it while you sit, is there shit that you're missin'? Stand and swipe so the smear's in your vision? Bunch it up or fold neatly with precision? Do you bro - don't listen to opinions Never let the Dickheads shame your excreting positions. Shat yourself last night 'cause you partied like a rock star Guess it was a shart and it filled your dad's new boxers *fuck* You might hear a fart on your next bathroom mission But listen to your heart when making bathroom decisions Bathroom missions, bathroom missions Bathroom missions need bathroom decisions Bathroom decisions, bathroom decisions Bathroom decisions lead to dickhead divisions So you wanna try the fly on your next bathroom mission Whip it out in moments it's so fast and efficient All done, now you see what you've been missin' But then your skin flute receives a violent zippin' So many blood driblets, khakis turn crimson Go get the bad news from your local ween physician "From now on, through eight holes you'll be pissin' You should have never tried to change your wang position" But they called me a degenerate, they wouldn't stop dissin'" "There's nothing inherently wrong with an open belt disposition" Worst part of this insane bathroom mission? Your cock got maimed by your bathroom decision. Bathroom decisions, bathroom decisions Bathroom decisions lead to dickhead divisions Dickhead divisions, dickhead divisions Now your dick is shredded and it sprinkles when you're pissin'
8.
9.
10.
Instrumental
11.
Asterios - "AS I'M A DIGITAL CYBER DEMON!"
12.
13.
Instrumental
14.
15.
16.
17.
Instrumental
18.
19.
20.
21.
Instrumental
22.
23.
24.
(Maddox) I can argue this case. I can be a great lawyer. Lawyer the shit out of this case! Your honor, I'm I writer. And I will plainly show the idiot who now stands before you... Was caught red-handed. Hurting feelings... Sending tweets of a most vitriolic nature. That’s just not cool. I call Angelo’s mom to the stand. (Angelo's Mom) Dick Masterson, you are stupid! You dumb shithead! And who are you, gay? Maddox, I don’t know what kind of friend is this, you have. But I can tell you, this guy is a jerk! The guy is, completely out of touch. Go to hell, man! Go to hell and stay there! That’s all I can say. (Dick) Hot goss... Taken to court over my hot goss. A bald man crying... (Maddox Interjects - Objection, your honor! Big foul!) (Dick) They want to take all my Bitcoins away! (Jury) Hot goss! Please give us more of that sweet, hot goss! (Maddox) You’re in big trouble now, Dick. You should have thanked me for the snacks! You can’t imagine all the suffering I’ve endured, but no! You had to start your own show. Have you stolen anyone’s girlfriend lately? Just twenty million dollars, your honor. I need it to build my new website. Sean?! Oh, hey buddy... I didn’t know you were gonna be here! When we gonna hang out? Come to Maddox, handsome. Let me hold you in my arms. Buddy I never wanted, to get you into trouble! Why’d you have to quit my podcast? Your honor, let me take Sean home. (Dick) Hot goss. I dropped a nuke-u-lar hot goss bomb. An Armenian genocide... (Maddox interjects again - Aw dude, no... you can’t say... that’s fucking bullshit, That’s absolutely bullshit.) (Dick) It must be against the law to call someone a cuck... On the internet! (Jury) Hot goss! We just want more of that sweet, hot goss. (Judge) The evidence before the court, so clearly fabricated. There’s no need to waste more of the courts time! In all my years of judging I have never heard before... Of someone so guilty of the crimes that they have charged! The way you’ve made us suffer, you duplicitous little fucker... It fills me with the urge to defecate! Since you’ve already suffocated your own career... I sentence you to be made fun of for a thousand years! YOU FUCKED UP! (Jury) YOU FUCKED UP! MADDOX LOST! BUILD THE WALL! YOU FUCKED UP!

about

On or about November 14, 2017 comedian Asterios Kokkinos, his employer, other companies that include Patreon, and several other people were all served with a lawsuit naming them as Defendants against the Plaintiffs George "Maddox" Ouzounian and a Jane Doe.

The sum of damages requested, $400 million.

The crime?

Making fun of a weird dorky Podcaster with little self-awareness named "Maddox" for being a weird dorky Podcaster with little self-awareness after a public feud between Maddox and his former podcast cohost.

The intention of suing these Defendants is possibly just to ruin their public personas and current means of income rather than being awarded millions of dollars requested.

For instance, despite Asterios being a well-known, publicly declared, and occasionally-bashed-for-it, "Super Liberal NYC Comedian", the lawsuit tries to tie him to the politically hard-right and obnoxiously trollish "alt-right movement" because he has used "alt-right phraseology" at some point in his life online.

Whatever the intent of the lawsuit, Asterios is now forced to defend himself legally in what could be an expensive & drawn-out case.

So fans of Asterios Kokkinos' comedy (stand-up, UCB performances, The 'Science Friction' Podcast, '5 Minute Podcast', 'The Loudest Podcast' and many more podcast programs) and the many fans who formerly had listened to "The Biggest Problem in the Universe" Podcast, have banded together with a music compilation to help fund the legal defense of our favorite "Sneaky Greek" and "Digital Cyber Demon", "Boisterous Coconuts".

Be a DOER not a SUER.

Donate for spite.

Donate for glory on the charts at a dummy's expense.

Donate to defend the rights of a comedian.

UPDATE: The lawsuit was dismissed in late 2018 by the New York County Supreme Court, however, the former employer of Asterios had let go of Mr. Kokkinos immediately after proceedings had ended.

All money from this project now goes directly to Mr. Kokkinos.

credits

released December 1, 2017

Various Artists (listed in alphabetical order)

A. Nilphist
BeeTee Beats (soundcloud.com/beetee_beats)
Common Miner (commonminer.bandcamp.com)
Cuckcux (twitter.com/CuckCux)
Elay Arson (elayarson.com)
emceedumbfakealiasname (emceedumbfakealiasname.bandcamp.com)
HMWH (www.soundcloud.com/hmwh)
kendollinhide (twitter.com/kendollinhide)
Kody Yardley (kodyyardley.bandcamp.com/music)
lakembra (www.soundcloud.com/lakembra)
Jerry Driscoll
Peach Saliva (www.twitch.tv/peachsaliva)
Rob Araujo
samglaze (soundcloud.com/samglaze)
Savestate Corrupted (savestatecorrupted.bandcamp.com)
Sriracha (twitter.com/deleteuraccont)
Steve Sax
Todd Seidel (Soundcloud.com/tulsatodd)
wauterboi (wauterboi.bandcamp.com)

Produced and Mastered by
Daniel David Larson of Elay Arson (elayarson.com)

Many tracks are inspired by a lawsuit that you may read for yourself here:

iapps.courts.state.ny.us/nyscef/DocumentList?docketId=PntjOeTKYu3Vr6xxfr3NJw==&PageNum=1&narrow=

A Digital Cyber Demon Production

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Asterios Aid New York, New York

A fan project to fund the legal defense counsel of Asterios Kokkinos in a lawsuit.

THIS WAS 100% EXTERNAL ASSISTANCE SOLEY FOR THE LEGAL DEFENSE OF ASTERIOS BY FANS OF THE NOW DEFUNCT PODCAST "THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE UNIVERSE" & ASTERIOS KOKKINOS HIMSELF.

ALL FUNDS NOW GO DIRECTLY TO THE BENEFIT OF ASTERIOS KOKKINOS
... more

contact / help

Contact Asterios Aid

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Asterios Aid: The Sounds of Spite, you may also like: